Please please please dear God... make me strong enough to hold on

Escuchando: In my place - Coldplay
Estado: Numb

Monologo Vol I

Hoy defnitivamente estoy harta de llorar, estoy harta de que la gente me cague, estoy harta de que todo, absolutamente todo me salga mal... ya no se como encarar las situaciones de mi vida, ya no se como salir adelante, ya no se como podria intentar de nuevo crear algo si cada vez que lo intento hacer se va a la mierda... como hacer que las cosas no duelan tanto, como hacer para poder tragar saliva y continuar? ya no tengo ganas de soportar mas nada...

Por que diablos nuestro presente se nutre de nuestro pasado?? quisiera asegurarme que ciertas cosas NUNCA vuelvan a pasarme

Si, tal vez soy una paranoica traumada, pero supongo que no es pecado serlo, o si?? Claro que se para que rayos sirven los errores, pero a veces a pesar de todo, no aprendemos y seguimos haciendo majaderias, todo por no tener el coraje, el valor..

Ahora viene el stress.. no se... estoy aprendiendo a vivir con eso.. "las cosas son dificiles simplemente porque asi son las cosas" una frase sin sentido... o quizas con mas sentido del que mi mente puede tolerar en este instante

La mala memoria es el peor defecto de la humanidad...

Escuchando: Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

Estado: Contando dias

Si.. se que nos reflejamos inutilmente para no ver nuestros errores... se que mi transparencia puede estar opacada por cada mentira que me digo en nombre de mi bienestar... en nombre del miedo que suelo sentir

No, no se en realidad si eso es lo que dejo ver... juro que no... no se, todo me confunde......

Y la confianza donde esta??? Quizas la escondiste y en realidad quieras ver en mi tus mismos errores... no me digas que no confio... no, no lo digas!

Sabes como a veces vienen los recuerdos como olas??? te has puesto a pensar alguna vez en todo lo que fue, en como dejo marcas en la piel, en el corazon???

Ya no quiero desperdiciar mi tiempo....

Escuchando: Mecano - Me cuesta tanto olvidarte

Estado: So fucking tired that I could cry!!!

I know you read this and you know I have problems when it comes to saying pretty things to the people I care about so... I'll write this, you will read it, I'll get to express myself and you'll get to know how I feel, ok?

Doll: I know things are hard right now, life has never been easy for us, like I always use to quote: "life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's ok and everything's going right". And I know it's not nice or fair, but that's the way it is... and it has been like that for enough years for us to be used to it. My Point is that even though I'm going through a difficult time and so are you, we are still WE and that's what matters. We will get through all this shit like we always do. You'll do fine, you'll see :) and I'm gonna be there for you, because we may have our ups and down, but in the end we're always there for each other...

Is there any need to say I love you, you idiot??

Escuchando: Hello - Evanescence

Estado: Optimistic

Raining on me like I'm not there... makes any sense??

Right now, I'm going through a moment in my life which to be honest, I never thought I would have to go through again...

But this is where I am, and even though now I'm really sad I know ONE THING: every point in my life, no matter how sad or great it is, it's a point... which means that, from there, I can go anywhere else... so I must go on in order to keep on walking the path of my life right??

Yesterday I was really angry... after the anger came the sadness... and after the sadness came the peace of mind... You see?? I was about to do something very stupid... but I didn't, and I'm proud of myself for it. Being impulsive when you're angry is like the dumbest thing in the world... so I just did nothing, and I realize that it was fine, because anything I would have done it was gonna be pointless.

Now I'm... I guess I'm ok. Even though I know this is dificcult and it's driving me crazy, I know nobody cannot prevent this from happening, not even me...

Escuchando: Staind - Right Here

Estado: Gonna be fine